We are all Relate fully trained and experienced counsellors, who specialise in helping people address issues in their relationships. We understand that making the decision to get counselling can be difficult, and we have helped people through this hundreds of times.
Based in Hampshire Surrey and Wiltshire we bring experience, professionalism and commitment to help you work through relationship issues in a safe, non-judgemental environment.
Currently all our services are being offered online only
Once lockdown restrictions allow, face-to-face counselling will be available as follows…
• Relationship Counselling for Couples and Individuals: Aldershot, Andover, Basingstoke, Bordon, Farnham, Liss and Overton
• Counselling for Young People: Aldershot, Farnham
• Family Counselling: Aldershot, Basingstoke, Bordon, Farnham, Liss
• Psychosexual Therapy (Sex Therapy): Aldershot, Andover, Farnham, Basingstoke, Devizes, Salisbury, Amesbury
To book an appointment please contact your counsellor of choice directly. Each counsellor has a "Who we are" page with contact details.
Other sources of support
Many good books on relationships are available these days. We particularly recommend those published by RELATE.
If you are experiencing changes in mood, it may be worth talking to your GP to rule out medical causes.
And if you are in danger from violence, abuse, or suicidal urges, please get help quickly from an appropriate agency such as Samaritans or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, or call 999.
A Therapist's View
Perceived Partner Responsiveness
The Guardian recently wrote about a study suggesting that for many couples, their relationship seems stronger since lockdown. ( https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jul/11/couples-relationships-pandemic-romance ) It was found that the stresses of COVID have an adverse effect on relationships, but that this can be mitigated by Perceived Partner Responsiveness. I’d recommend reading the Guardian article.
That phrase is fairly self-explanatory, and I’d relate it to Sue Johnson's mantra of A.R.E. – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement with each other. (Sue Johnson is a leading researcher in couple therapy.) Do you feel that you are a priority for your partner, and that they are “on your side”?
Sometimes I find that what has happened between a couple is not a deep problem, it’s just a bad habit! For example, someone may respond more promptly to a cheep from their phone than they do to their partner speaking to them. That’s an “accessibility” failure for the partner. I keep my phone on silent nearly all the time. There are few messages from it that can’t wait an hour. Social media is scientifically designed to addict you. If you can’t get off it altogether, at least don’t let it summon you with a beep whenever it wants.
Or if their partner tells them a story about a conflict – for example “this driver pulled out in front of me in traffic”, or “a co-worker was rude to me” – the partner instinctively takes the other side, for example “maybe the sun was in their eyes” or “maybe they had a hangover”. This is just a very bad habit. It means the partner is not a “safe” person to talk to. It’s an A.R.E. failure. (Usually the best reply is some version of “Are you OK?”)
Letting your partner see that you are indeed accessible responsive and emotionally engaged will solve a lot of problems.
If you need help with this, give us a call.